Don't be a Brick Layer

Communication can be a very difficult thing during the holidays. You may find yourself caught up in family politics or embroiled in some hidden angst from past seasons. I would advise that you look beyond the moment and think about your future. You may not be able to alter the past but you certainly control your future.

Think of your relationships like the brick layer. Every wall the brick layer makes is built to last a millennium. He begins by digging a trench called footer. This is where the wall gets its foot hold on which to build. This is how the wall is able to stand for so long, unmarred by time or space. Next the craftsman selects the perfect brick which to lay his first course. The word course is important in that it indicates whether the wall will be straight and tall or curved with purpose or plumb and straight. If this first row is laid with care the wall will last for ever.

The purpose of a wall is to what? It's to do one of several things, keep valuables protected, to secure personal property from the view of others or to hide something from the world! Think back in your life’s relationships. Have you been a brick layer? Did you dig the trench, did you lay the first brick, did you mean for the wall to last forever? I think not. In most cases you were caught off guard in the heat of the moment and felt threatened. Your defense mechanism was to protect yourself by building a wall. The only problem is you forgot to tear it down when you were no longer being threatened.

Take a moment, survey your land, check for walls that are no longer needed and tear them down. Because, there is one other reason someone might build a wall... to keep from seeing out. To keep from looking into the world for what it is, an imperfect place filled with mistakes and miscommunications. Tear down your walls and let the world show its better side. The world can be a passionate place, a loving place, a place where you can rediscover yourself, your loves and your loved ones. Tear down that wall this holiday season and reconnect with someone you have been separated from.

“Come here to this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”

Ronald Regan US President

Remarks at the Brandenburg Gate

West Berlin, Germany

June 12, 1987

Have a FANTASTIC holiday season!

Rik

Visual Listening: Rik on the Radio

Visual Listening: Rik on the Radio

Here is the Show Link: http://www.modavox.com/voiceamericacms/ECardLinkFiles/_11182008111303AM.html

Have a FANTASTIC week!

Rik

Rik on the Radio

Wow, what a great opportunity. I was fortunate enough to be interviewed by a leading business consultant, Linda Finholz. Her radio show "The Spark Effect" is broadcast on Voice America Business. If you'd like to know more about me and how I got to where I am today I encourage you to click on the link to the shows web site and look for the archived show date 11-24-2008. The show title is "Success Hides in Plain Sight" I discuss everything from entrepreneurship to writing the book. I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed the interview.

Have a FANTASTIC week!

Rik

Great News! Great Speech!

Well it is happening; the book, “Don’t Look at Me In That Tone of VOICE!” had its unofficial release last Thursday at the Southern California Association of Hostage Negotiators (CAHN) 2008 annual Conference. With nearly 250 members in attendance and a new book topic to share I was very excited. Being the featured afternoon speaker was a great honor. The event was, by all indications, a spectacular success. The topic, Visual Listening, was well received. The feedback I received was very positive and indicated that Visual Listening is and innovative and fresh topic. A number of officers told me this topic is vital to their professional lives.

Specifically the CAHN members told me that the topics on the GGNEE Effect were of the most help. The inter-Gender communications and Inter-Generational portions got the most questions and interaction from the attendees. The other topic which seemed to get a great deal of attention was the cultural communications portion. As you can imagine in today’s America, there are a great number of ethnic, cultural and regional cultures that we interact with daily. I gave them some real world practical solutions for managing the communications in these groups. I had a GREAT time working with CAHN. What a great group of people. A big Thank you to them for inviting me to present. I’ll see you all next year!

Book sales out performed our expectations. We are already looking forward to our second edition. There are plans for enhancement and additional chapters to be included. I hope you will order your copy today and let me know how we can improve the topics and content.

We plan to release our book web site complete with a PayPal account by the end of next week October 10th, 2008. Look for is at www.Visual-Listening.com. If you can’t wait email the published for your copy today SageCADRE@Gmail.com. If they receive you email request before Friday October 3rd, 2008 I'll sign your copy!

Thank you for finding me. This is the inagural posting for my new blog. I will commit to keep the content relevent and timely. So what is the topic? I have just completed a book titled "Don't Look At Me In That Tone Of VOICE!" The subject of the book is...well Let me share the introduction page from the book with you, this should help you understand this unique topic.

People change for only one of two reasons: Crisis or Quest. Regardless of your reason, I believe that if you practice the techniques in this book, you will become a better communicator in all facets of life. Visual Listening Techniques, are a set of thechniques I have developed, is a program that has been a lifetime in the making. Forged from a world of personal experiences and observations, Visual Listening techniques is a mixture of methods, sales, negotiations, performing arts, public speaking, speech pathology, accent modification, linguistics, and much more.

Visual Listening Techniques introduces its participants to an entirely new way of communicating and listening. It specifically targets professionals, such as those in the California Association of Hostage Negotiators, whose primary mode of communications is done remotely, without the benefit of seeing those on the other end.

Negotiators in all areas of life and business must become masters at understanding nonverbal behavior in order to diagnose the often subtle dynamics of a situation and the people involved. Nonverbal communication offers valuable clues to people’s underlying defenses, mixed feelings, hidden agendas, and intentions. Negotiation team members and their counterparts also benefit from developing this awareness. The ability to decipher, analyze, and understand nonverbal communication in any interaction allows participants to modify the problem-solving process as well as to address the content and nature of the actual issues.

This program examines the complexities of communications between those of differing genders, ages, geographic backgrounds, educational levels, origins of birth, and emotional states. It also explores the intricacies of the human voice, including pitch, intonation, stress, rate, volume, and many other characteristics.

As a supplement to the seminar presentation, the hands-on exercises are designed to engage participants and train them to become more self-aware when communicating with others. Each participant will learn one of life’s most elusive communication skills: how to “shut up and just listen.”

Visualizing human communications requires that we first examine nonverbal communications. This program teaches how to be more aware of the physiological indicators of paralanguage cues. You will develop various methods to understand these cues from a distance (telephonically) when line of sight communication is not attainable. The interlacing of nonverbal and verbal responses will also be examined. Several practical exercises will develop your emotional, intellectual, and auditory perceptions of communications.

Although this program focuses on remote listening skills, its value is not lost with in-person communications. In fact, by utilizing the concepts of this book, your understanding of body language will increase dramatically. This skill set is helpful in many settings—not the least of which is in face-to-face negotiations, interrogations, or depositions. Plus, the program provides the incidental benefits of enhanced interpersonal skills with patrol partners, colleagues, supervisors, and significant others.

I hope this has encourage you to join me for more thoughts on Visual Listening. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and getting to understand how this technique has helped you or someone you know.

Have a FANTASTIC week!