Talk, Talk, Talk…

This post to the blog is a direct result of my personal experience with customer service reps this week. I am not much different from the rest of the world. There are times when I find it necessary to call a company and speak with a real person regarding some product or service challenge I am experiencing. This week it seemed that I needed more assistance that usual.

I discovered there are three specific types of customer service reps.

The first is the friendly chatter.  This is, in my opinion the best. This is a true service oriented rep. He/she always speak to the customer like they are talking to their favorite aunt or uncle. They are very pleasant and very helpful.

The second type is the speed reader. This is a customer service reps who is reading from a script and will not or cannot be stopped in mid sentence or they will lose their place. God help you if this happens because they will start the whole script all over again. They simply will not be interrupted!

The last is the mumbler. This customer service rep starts out like to friendly chatter, good so far. Then the wheels come off the wagon.  While they are researching the question at hand they mumble to themselves.  They think they are having a conversation with when in fact they are completely confusing you, the customer. You are confused because you’re not sure if they are asking you a question, if you should answer or are they talking to someone else. Neither is true, they are trying to talk themselves through the navigation of the problem.

Almost all customer service reps begin their conversation with the same basic phrase, something like, “Hello how are you today?" Or, "How might I help you today?” most of them mean it, for others it’s something they’re supposed to read from the script. And still others have been counseled by their supervisor regarding their communication skills and think they are supposed to say this phrase to be “in” a conversation.

So, how can you tell which type of customer service representative you are speaking with? There are some basics of human communication “The Art of Visual Listening” that are important to keep in mind. If you own my book, “Don’t Look At Me In That Tone of VOICE!” read the section on page 26, titled “Perspective and Emotion: the GGNEE Effect©. If you don’t have your copy you can buy it from this blog today!

Here is an excerpt from the book;

“This diagram illustrates the GGNEE (pronounced “Jenny”) Effect© of how varying perspectives eventually narrow down to a universally-shared, emotion-based response.

Communication, with or without conflict, begins on the macro level of gender. This is the single most obvious and identifiable differential in any type of auditory communication. For the most part, a male voice is different from a female voice. Plus, the way men convey an idea is very different from the way women convey the same idea.

Within the first few seconds of a telephone conversation, we can easily garner some glaringly basic facts about the other person. Gender is one of the first facts we learn, followed by the approximate age of the speaker, and so on. “

Once your brain has taken all of this into consideration you have made some assumptions. By the way, all of this happens instantly and without your consciously knowing it is occurring. Now you begin to listen to the subtleties of tone, inflection, rate and numerous other factors. Tone, this will indicate mood. Everyone who has been or who has had an assistant has heard “Smile when you answer the telephone.” Why, because your smile can be heard on the phone. That's tone. Intonation is the emphasis placed on words or syllables, as in “Read my Lips!” Rate is the speed of the person’s speech. If they or you are nervous your rate will increase. If they are comfortable with what they are doping the rate will be more measured and thus a more easy/friendly pace.

I hope this help you the consumer of services and those that render support in speaking and listening better.

So, until next time, “The better we listen to one another, the better we hear one another…

Rik

Hearing is Believing

What can you really hear?

The following is based on actual news events. The details remain accurate however, the name of the location and those involved have been changed. As you read the incident notice the quote from the victim's friend.


Home Invaders Surrender after Standoff
Actual incident date: November 2009

ANYVILLE, USA. -- Three burglars surrendered to Law Enforcement after a home invasion and standoff. Police received a call just before 12:30 p.m. that said there was a home invasion in progress.

Police spokeswoman said a resident of the home was on the phone with a friend and said,
"Don't shoot me."

"That friend could tell by the phone conversation what was going on and notified police,"
said the officer.

A negotiator and SWAT officers were called to the scene.  Upon arrival, police assessed the situation and determined the home was still occupied. One of four men who invaded the home was immediately arrested. The three others remained in the house but surrendered later.

The art of Visual Listening is based on just such an interpretation of human communication. In this instance it helped greatly that the victim and the friend on the telephone were familiar with one another. This is NOT however a requirement to use the techniques of Visual Listening. We discuss in the book, "Don't Look at Me in That Tone of VOICE!", how we all possess a sense of intuition if you will. We discuss how this instinct is primal to all human development. We the all possess an innate ability to read into the sounds of another human their emotional state, even their physical state or body language.

To is easy practice this skill. Next time you record a television program, turn it on and turn your back to the TV screen leaving the volume at a normal level. Then picture in your mind the physicality of the actors, their body language. Try to listen for all of the other sounds present and write down everything you hear. Now check your assumptions by rewinding the program and watch it to see if you were correct.

This is a great exercise and can be repeated often with any number of programs. For a real scenario variation try adding background noise to your location things such as other ongoing conversations.

To better follow the thread of this topic you should buy the book right now! You'll learn more about human communication in the unseen world of the telephone. You will learn about The Art of Visual Listening!

Until next time, listen carefully and think before you speak!

Manager or Dominator

How do you know you were heard?

When you begin a conversation with someone on the telephone do you manage the conversation or dominate it? If you manage it you are a rare and gifted communicator. One that is understanding, respectful, patient and friendly. If you manage the conversation you are a person who is more concerned with the success of the communication event, and less with making your point or having your story heard. Most times when we talk to another we have an agenda, something we need to communicate.

What we often forget is communication is a two way street and the other person most likely has an agenda as well. To make the most of our encounter we must always remember, the other person has things they need or want to communicate too. Let them, and you'll be seen as a great communicator, not a dominator. Give the conversation room to grow and expand, listen to what they have to say. As my father used to say, "Use your ears more, they have a bigger role in life, that's why there are two of them."

Just like these gears, as each speaker takes their "turn" the "conversation" gear changes directions. This allows for the free flowing of thoughts and ideas. You never know what you'll learn from someone else until you "Hear" them!

Everyone sees life from their perspective, through the eyes of their own id. This "self centered" approach to communication is fraught with land mines. Misunderstanding, Misinterpretation, misrepresentation, hurt feelings and in some cases anger. Do you think you hear other people in your conversations? Do you think they felt as though they were heard? Did you feel like you were heard?

Think back on your last telephone conversation, what were you doing while the other person was speaking? If you are thinking about what you have to say, how your story applies or what you need to buy at the grocery store, you cannot possibly be following the conversation or processing what the other person is saying to you.

A truly great communicator is not the one doing all of the communicating all of the time, it's the person who is willing to listen and understand the thoughts of the other person...first!

To better follow the thread of this topic buy my book. You'll learn more about human communication in the unseen world of the telephone.  You will learn about The Art of Visual Listening!

Until next time, listen carefully and think before you speak!

Four Things You Need to Know About Telephone Talking

In the beginning man uttered grunts and groans to the person next to them to indicate a rudimentary thought. The hollow tree stump to be used as a drum was the next evolution. This gave way to fire, and smoke signals were born. This was closely followed by telegraph, radio, telephone and then the pinnacle of communications the internet.

Somewhere along this progression we lost our ability to understand the most basic of all human communications, the voice. We lost the ability and some would argue the desire to really communicate and to really understand one another. Over the next few postings I will be discussing this in greater detail. I would love to share this communications journey with you. In order to come along you'll need to go to my blog and become a follower. Following my blog does not obligate you to anything other than you might enjoy what we discuss on this site. It also helps promote the blog by raising it in the search rankings. Please take a moment and become a follower right now. Click here: Visual-Listening Blog

Now back to our story. If you were like me, you bugged your parents for months until they finally relented and bought you your first drum kit. This is where it all went very bad. You began to communicate, not realizing that everyone within a three block radius could hear you murdering the drum solo to In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. It is precisely this range of sound that attracted the ancients to use the drum, originally a hollow tree. They could communicate over vast distances.

There was a limitation in the beginning. If your village was under attack and you sounded the distress call on the drum it sounded "Tonally" the same as "hey what's for dinner" There was no sense of urgency to the sounds.

This problem was resolved in central Africa by the Bantu speaking tribes. They developed the drum equivalents of their language a sort of Morse code. A word, whether, in English or a form of Bantu can have a completely different meaning depending on the intonation expressed. In my book, Don't Look At Me In That Tone of VOICE! I discuss this in terms of a musical sing song-ness to our speech. These tones indicate many things such as urgency, fright, pleasure, etc.

The drums of the Bantu can easily replicate these tones. There are, as you might expect, limitations to this form of communication. Many words contain the same number of syllables. One might assume confusion would set in, not so. The tribesmen of the Bantu speaking nations say they can hear the difference by the context the drummed phrase is sent in. As you might imagine a message sent using drums could be quite lengthy.

Now we return to your mangling of the In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida drum solo. How good a communicator are you? Can you hear the tonal changes in the voice of the person you are speaking with? Do you pay attention to these "Speech Road Signs?" Are you listening to the overall speech and not simply thinking about what you are about to say? I recommend you take a tip from the Bantu drummers. They cannot drum (speak) over one another, if they are to hear and comprehend the message. Thus you too should listen to the entire message before you formulate your thoughts and response.

Until next week, listen carefully and think before you speak!

SPECIAL OFFER: Win an autographed book!

Please take a minute to read my blog and if you like what you read, become a “follower”. (Click to the right) This blog’s the only place you can get my exclusive content and information about Visual Listening and the GNNEE effect. This is content I wanted to include in the book but had to leave out due to the publishing limits.

There are great exclusive offers only available for Blog followers. Here’s the first offer. Be among the next twenty people to follow my blog and you could win one of the first, autographed copies, of the new 2nd edition of “Don’t Look at Me In That Tone of VOICE!”

Have a FANTASTIC week!

Rik

The New Book is Here, The New Book is Here!

Well it’s done. I’ve sent my manuscript off to the printers and now begins the arduous task of letting everyone know the book is available and that it has valuable information you can put to use immediately.

On my last post I posed some questions. I'd like to answer them so here goes.

When can I get the new book? The release date from the printer is September 30th. I will be hosting a release party and the details of that will be forthcoming in my next post, so check back often for those details.

Where do I get my copy of the new book? The easiest way to get you own copy of my book is from my website, Visual-Listening.com. Or if you prefer a special gift you can email me through this blog and I’ll send you a autographed copy. This makes a great gift.

How can I get Rik to speak to my company or group? I am always interested in speaking on this and many other topics. If you’d like to host me at your club or organization you can contact my office through this blog and we’ll get right back to you and work out the details.

These are all great questions and I’ll bet after you read my book you’ll have so good questions about that topic as well. If you have any questions regarding Visual Listening or remote communication please leave a comment or contact me and I’ll be glad to address them in future blogs.

I will be back next week to answer some of your questions, offer thought provoking ideas and to challenge you all to do something extraordinary. So please come back next week and read what’s new.

Have a FANTASTIC week!

Rik

Second Edition of Book Is On It's Way

Well I suppose it's about time I let you in on what's been keeping me from making more frequent posts to my blog. The last year was a banner year for me. I wrote my first book almost exactly one year ago this month. Since then I have SOLD OUT of that edition. Wow, can you believe that? I still can't grasp that this topic was so well received. The encouraging thing is it only took nine months to sell out of the entire first printing. During those critical first few months I did a lot of speaking and got a lot of great feed back on the book and the speeches. Lot's of you had great stories and personal insights to share. I value all of that input and have honored your requests for additions and changes.

Speaking of changes, the book is sporting a new look for this release. That's it to the right.

The new edition of the book now has some fascinating new chapters. Among them is a chapter of real life case studies I conducted in my research over the years. I had the opportunity to work with some really incredible companies as consultant last year and gained some very valuable insights. I have shared these with you in the new book. Many of these case studies relate to customer service. Great for your call center staff or anyone else who talks to the public on behalf of your firm. There are many new examples of how to recognise and use the techniques of Visual Listening.

So, you are asking when can I get the new book? Where do I get my copy of the New book? How can I get Rik to speak to my company or group ? These are great questions. I just don't have all of those details and contracts signed yet. I will be back next week to answer all of these questions and more, just for you. So please come back next week and I will have worked out all of the details by then.

Have a FANTASTIC week!

Rik

See me live February 9th, 2009

Wow, here is a great opportunity to see me present a short version of my book topic Visual Listening. I will be presenting to The San Diego Professional Coaching Meeting on February 9th, 2009. If you currently coach by telephone or are planning to start, don't miss my upcoming presentation. While remote coaching is cost effective in terms of time, travel and expense, it can set in place a series of communication road blocks. You'll learn about Visual Listening (VL)--a set of techniques developed specifically for coaching professionals and others, such as hostage negotiators. Visual Listening takes the audience from hearing to listening.

The key is listening to the meaning of the words in the tone of the body language. Visual Listening is a mixture of, sales, negotiations, performing arts, public speaking, speech pathology, accent modification, linguistics, and much more. You will leave with a new set of tools to better communicate with clients.

The "Don't Look At Me in That Tone of VOICE!" program examines the complexities of communications with your clients whether they are those of differing genders, ages, geographic backgrounds, origins of birth education, and emotional states. It also explores the intricacies of the human voice, such as pitch, intonation, stress, rate, volume, and other characteristics. This presentation will help you by:

• Understanding how humans/clients evaluate every communication and how that evaluation effects all ongoing communications.

• Gain an insight to the mechanics of communications that can normally only be seen. You will learn to "Hear/Listen" for them in your telephone.


• Enhance your practice by boosting your ability to more clearly communicate and understand clients, both near and far.

I hope to see all of you there but, if you can't make it please subscribe to this blog so you can stay up on all my future appearances and speaking engagements.

Have a FANTASTIC week!

Rik

Mark your calendar

Well I have certainly been busy. Last October I was asked to be an expert guest on interpersonal communication for the hit Bravo TV show Millionaire Matchmaker. It was a great experience and I thoroughly enjoyed being part of the production. My part in the show was to assist a young man in making the best impression possible to his potential date. This proved to be a bit more of a challenge that any of us thought. But, you'll have to stay tuned and see how I was able to manage this Chicago native in the Los Angeles search of the perfect dating experience.

This season premiers on February 12th be sure to tune in and post your comments when my episode airs. I'm not sure which date my episode will appear but please check back and I'll be sure and keep you informed.

Have a FANTASTIC week!

Rik